A press release circulating yesterday proved yet again that there’s nothing the mainstream media loves more than some crazy nut claiming to have created Bitcoin.

In honor of White Paper Day, the latest event, billed as the unveiling of the “legal identity” of Satoshi Nakamoto, attracted a who’s who of press, including the BBC, who were caught up in the Craig Wright scandal in 2016. (Wright was later legally deemed not to be Satoshi.)

Even that burn didn’t stop their reporters from interviewing the latest man who’s claiming – without evidence – that he created Bitcoin, though. 

This time, our fake Satoshi is Stephan Mollah.

No, it’s not the first time Mollah has pulled this stunt. He sued crypto exchange Coinbase all the way back in 2021, claiming that they stole his company name from him, at the time saying that Satoshi Nakamoto was his pseudonym and true identity.

Long story short, the claim was so outlandish there’s even an online investigations company that uses Mollah as a way to advertise the effectiveness of their software.

You can follow the thread of the BBC’s reporting for the highlights, they’re full of his inane statements, as well as complaints from the reporters about what they had to sit through, including the “increasingly easy to fake screenshots” that he showed.

“I created the Bitcoin technology, but I am not happy with it,” Mollah said. “I have evidence of all of that, but I am here to make the statement.”

Mollah pledged to reveal the true details at some later date, finally showing the event for what it was, an announcement of a fake announcement.

Still, after all the hoopla over HBO’s documentary, which went to extraordinary lengths to fake a convincing Satoshi reveal earlier this month, I have to say, Mollah is somehow refreshing.

This is really the way all Satoshi Nakamoto reveals should be – total sideshows, devoid of any reasonable intrigue. Hopefully, if we get enough of these, we’ll convince the media to end its fruitless search for Satoshi’s true identity.

After all, as Bitcoin Mechanic says, isn’t that all he ever asked of us? 

This article is a Take. Opinions expressed are entirely the author’s and do not necessarily reflect those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.

Some things in Bitcoin are just not up for debate.

The plural of bitcoin is also bitcoin— not bitcoins. (One bitcoin, two bitcoin, three bitcoin…) Bits is a better sub-denomination than sats. (100 sats is actually one bit, like a 100 cents is one dollar; being a wholecoiner makes you the Bitcoin-equivalent of a millionaire, as that would mean you have a million bits.) And October 31st is not Bitcoin’s birthday.

Bitcoin’s birthday is January 3rd. It says so right there in block 0: 2009-01-03 19:15:05 GMT +1. On that day Bitcoin’s blockchain launched, with 50 newly generated coins issued to Satoshi Nakamoto’s public key. (But from which Bitcoin’s creator cannot spend according to the protocol rules; since Satoshi was the only person who could have created the genesis block, that would have effectively constituted a 50 BTC pre-mine.)

Yes, Bitcoin was first proposed through Satoshi’s white paper on October 31, 2008. But you don’t celebrate your birthday on the day your mom told your dad she wanted to have a kid. Nor do you celebrate it on the day your parents conceived you, or on the day they announced you to the world via a gender reveal party.

You celebrate your birthday on the day you were born, and the same is true for Bitcoin. January 3rd.

Happy Bitcoin White Paper Day.

This article is a Take. Opinions expressed are entirely the author’s and do not necessarily reflect those of BTC Inc or Bitcoin Magazine.

Ah, Halloween. The one night a year where we’re supposed to be scared of things that go bump in the night. You know, your classic cast of characters: Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, your weird neighbor who leaves their Christmas lights up all year round. But here’s the thing—none of those guys actually scare us anymore, do they? I mean, a werewolf might give you a mild startle, but you know what’s really terrifying? The sound of a fiat currency money printer. That, my friends, is nightmare fuel for 2024.

Remember when Frankenstein’s monster was the height of terror? Big, lumbering, slightly awkward in a “do you even lift, bro?” kind of way. Sure, he was menacing back in his day, but now? Come on, Frankenstein’s just a misunderstood guy with a bad skin-care routine and no Wi-Fi. Dracula? The guy’s been outpaced by vegan diets and everyone’s obsession with garlic these days. Werewolves? Maybe once upon a time, but now we’ve got laser hair removal for that.

No, the real monsters of the past just don’t cut it anymore. Today, we’ve got something far scarier, lurking quietly in the background, slowly draining the life out of our savings accounts. Forget the undead—this beast prints its way into our nightmares. Enter: the fiat currency money printer. Terrifying, isn’t it?

Imagine this: you’re dressed up as a money printer for Halloween. You walk into the room, wearing a suit made entirely of dollar bills, making that eerie brrr noise. Suddenly, everyone’s blood runs cold. Forget vampires—this is the stuff of real terror. Because the truth is, inflation doesn’t just take your blood—it takes your hard-earned money and leaves you with less and less every day. Now that’s scary.

Inflation is the ultimate modern-day monster. It sneaks up on you, slowly chipping away at the value of your currency, all while governments crank up those money printers like it’s a haunted house attraction they’re particularly proud of. Only this time, it’s not candy coming out—it’s debased, devalued paper that used to be worth something.

So yes, folks, this Halloween, the money printer is the real villain. It doesn’t wear a mask or haunt a castle; it lurks in central banks and government policies. Every time that printer goes brrr, your savings are silently screaming in terror.

But like every good horror story, there’s a hero. And in this tale of financial fear, that hero is Bitcoin. In a world where inflation runs rampant and fiat currency gets printed into oblivion, Bitcoin is the knight in shining blockchain. It’s here to protect you from the terrifying specter of currency debasement, offering a lifeline out of the inflationary horror show.

Picture this: while Timmy and Sally are out trick-or-treating, they stumble upon a house where, instead of handing out candy, they’re offering something much sweeter—financial sovereignty. No money printers here, just the decentralized beauty of Bitcoin. It’s the one thing that can stand up to inflation and say, “Not today, money monster.”

With a fixed supply of 21 million coins, Bitcoin doesn’t play the “brrr” game. It’s like garlic to a vampire, or silver to a werewolf. Inflation can’t touch it. And as we all know, the scariest thing about monsters is when they can’t be stopped—but Bitcoin can stop this one.

Happy Halloween, and may your portfolio stay spook-free.